Youtube is not for me

Sometime ago I talked about planning to leave this and start a vlogging channel, just because it will be easy to just talk to the camera and upload but it is not easy as it sounds. Finally, I decided not to do it because I like writing, not making and editing videos. Its actually a lot difficult and time consuming than 10-20 mins to write these. And what do I want to learn? Editing video and working with cameras and microphones or writing something everyday? At least that was the plan when I started this, but once a week or month is also okay now that I am doing other projects. I wanted to keep track of my mental health and how my thinking process have evolving over the years. Forcing myself to write boring things in a light way, keeps reminding me to take life easy.

I am not against youtube. I think it is far better than watching tv, since most channels are producing more quality content than all of our pakistani tv channels combined. I watch a lot of youtube, I mean I lot. Sometimes I think YT owes me money for watching 10 times more ads than an average viewer does. Most if it is because my hobbies change every few months and youtube is a good platform to learn new things, but its been for to long a time and there are youtubers that a flow who have started to feel like friends, except they don’t know I exist. This is strange, but fun.

Why not?

Everybody is starting a YT channel these days and I can see the temptation. Some do it for the money, some want attention and fame, others think it is easy and want to try. But the truth is that youtube is one of the most unstable jobs around. While making videos while traveling the world or playing games or doing anything you love looks glamorous, it is everything but. YTers spend most of the time editing. You have to post on a regular basis, consistently for infinite amount of time because these days if you stop for a month or more, people will lose interest in you, people have short attention spans and this has been happening to a lot of channels. It is like a job where every upload-day of the week, no matter how your mood is, you have to ‘do your things’ on cue because you are an entertainer. Those who say they YT for the fun of it are not fooling anyone. Enjoyment is when you do something when you want to and not when you have to. If you are doing it for the attention, then you are destroying your personality. Everyone wants attention, its a basic human desire, but it is addictive and its never enough. I already sound like an old man and this is a long post. YTers are celebrities. Anything they do or say can be used against them. The idea of getting famous overnight is seductive when you see so many people go from a few thousand subs to more than a million in a couple of days after their videos goes viral while they were sleeping. This is literally overnight success. But there is a flip side to it to. One controversial act, once bad word or statement or tweet can ruin your career, specially when we are living in a world people get easily offended other’s  behalf and need someone new to criticize everyday. Muslim YTers have lost big brand deals and subs because of an anti-Israel tweet or “Liberate Palestine” FB dp back when they didn’t even started YTbing. God forbid if your funny tweet is perceived as racist or you are attacked by the same community you are trying to support. You can play your life as a saint and still your life can be ruined by a false accusation by an ex holding a grudge or some stranger using you to gaining attention. You will to forced to stay in an abusive personal/work relationship with someone because they are part of your YT brand. For example a comedy duo or a vlogging couple. You have to pretend that life is super okay and fun, because sharing a sad moment is endearing once in a while but if you do it more than once a year, people will leave you, even make fun of you. Then the comment section of YT. It is considered one of the worst and most brutal on the interwebs. It have got a lot better this year but trolls are trolls and most people are doing it just because they think it is funny to be offensive online. The biggest attraction is the money and most people are doing YT as a full time job. But as a job it is very unstable. You can make  lot of money one month and not much in the other. Your video will get demonetized for slightest of issue and YT will one day randomly decide to pay you less for the same amount of views because your videos are not ad-friendly enough. I know views make only 20% of any professional youtuber’s paycheck. Money comes from sponsored videos, brand deals, commission from online businesses for directing your viewers to their sites to buy their stuff. You can get free stuff from brands to test and use in your videos and this is where you make the most money. But no one is going to give you free stuff or sponsorship with a few thousand views. To get to having 100k+ views per video within a year you will have to give it everything. Forget about studies or hobbies because it is your hobby and work now so you will be working more than 8 hours a day writing scripts, shooting and editing videos, planning trips, watching other’s videos and checking charts and stats to see what people are looking for in those days. And you will make less than minimum wage for at least an year. Still, you may not get to 100k subs by the end of the year (But if you are a Pakistani you definitely will, because there are at most 20-30 prominent channels and if you are good, they will notice you.) But what confidence do you have that once you have “made it”, people will not get bored of you even if you keep doing everything right. There is a limit to creativity and sometimes you have to take a break to recharge and find inspirations but YT won’t allow that. Once you take a break, you will have to work extra hard to get back. Rhett and Link have talked about his. For ten years, they have been making videos in advance every time they have to go on a break or collab. A single week (or day in their case) missing from your posting schedule means a few lost subscribers. You can’t be at your best all the time and you can’t be funny and thoughtful whenever your speak. Think of the megastars of YT who ruled the platform 6-10 years ago. How many of them are left? Only a few channels who have giving it everything (like Rhett and Link) have survived. There are ups and downs in everyone’s life and a stable half-boring job will make you more happy in the long run than fame or good money for a few years.

But there is a way to start a youtube channels to test if it is for you, without going though most of these issue. Like every YTer will tell you, dont do it for the money or fame, do it for the fun of it. So start a YT channel if you want to, turn off the likes and comments, do not tell anyone other than a few close friends and do not, do not monetize your videos, then start posting. Be experimental. See if you can keep it up for half a year and still enjoy it. The last thing you want is any of your first 10 or 20 videos to go viral. Let the free-surfers on YT subscribe to you because they know you are not doing it for the money. People like a genuine person these days. These will be your life long fans because they discovered your first. Not many people sub to a channel with one good video. Now go public. Likes, comments, monetize. With 6 months experience and at least 30 videos under your bent, it will be a good thing to go viral or gain some fast traffic because now if the people like one of your videos, they will click on 30 others too, some of which may not be that good but they will still like them because they like you. Congratulation, you are a YTer now. But remember, this was the easy part.


Power Struggle at the Dairy Farm

Just because I haven’t posted anything in January, doesn’t mean I forgot you. As much as I would like to blame it on finals, it was just me going though life. This one was a boring semester but the grades turned out great and now I am a graduate. I celebrated last week accordingly with a late night emotional break down. It wasn’t that bad, just an episode of grown up thinking. Not a fan of this feeling.

Talking about grown up thinking, now that I am free every evening I go to a dairy farm that is a walking distance away from our house to get some guaranteed pure milk. I didn’t even know it existed until I did. This, lets call it exercise, gives me some time to think about things, like what is entertainment? Why is it so subjective? Why people watch what they watch and do what they do to enjoy? Is entertainment enjoyment or a means of escape? and if it is entertaining because it is a means of escape then what does it say about our lives? You know, thinking about stuff that matters but not really.

Back to the dairy farm, which is the main reason for this blog; they have a lot of chickens, ducks and guinea hens. Chickens include two roosters and about a dozen hens. One of the rooster is more of a god-father. All the hens have offered him their services in exchange for his protection. This have made the other rooster alone and desperate. Every time I go there, he is busy harassing some gair-mehrum hen. Mostly the assaulted hen rejects his advances and joins the other hens and together they protest aloud in bird-language, which I assume are all the gandi galian they have learned around the dung dump. Now the godfather rooster has to step in, making the offender run. This has happened a few times now and by the look that solo rooster gives when he is forced to run, I think he is going to kill the other one some day soon. Maybe even the plan is ready and he is only waiting for the right time to execute. I will update if something interesting happens. Laters 🙂

YouTube will Rewind

I spend way to much time on YouTube and because of this, watching Rewind video every year and guessing youtubers and trends makes me happy,  because it makes me think I am good at something. But this time this was not the case. I couldn’t recognize most of these people. I was quiet understandably, hurt pretty bad when I first saw the video but now that I think about it will a cool head, 2017 was not a total shit storm on YouTube. It was a good year for funny animation and film/arts channels. You know, the kind of channels I watch. So whatever happens to vloggers or drama people, there is no need to be enraged.

These viners came from vine and they had a lot of followers there. When they moved to YouTube, their fans came with them, so naturally it looks like they just blew up when it’s only a platform shift. Also they have their own ‘culture’ for lack of a proper word, that I think ruined the YouTube experience for me. They are all very alike and constantly copy video ideas of each other, which coming from vine is quite normal for them but is wrong for youtubers who give a damn about original or at least quality content. With time I think things will settle down and my fav youtubers will once again be in the spotlight.

Btw if Natalie Tran’s Community Channel after 11 years of original and quality content has less followers than Lene Pons who started a year ago, then the world is already more messed up than I think. Laters ☺

Am I changing? (Mentally, not bodily)

Its been more than a month since I have been trying to watch ‘Your Name’ but i just can’t. Every time I start, I lose interest minutes later. Same situation with Attack on Titan s2. Its been ages as it sits there in the folder, neither seen nor deleted. But yesterday I watched Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy and its strangely paced/structured yet I liked it, watching it all in one sitting. I think i have lost interest in anime, which is a good thing in a way as I already have too much pop culture on my plate, but it could be a trigger that i am changing. Am I? I don’t know. I feel different. I used to be stupid but happy. Now the best feeling I know is when my head is numb due to sleep deprecation of watching YouTube too much. Why am I sad all the time and for no reason I can think of? It’s a never ending feeling that I have to do something creative like writing a book or making a video or vector art but soon as I start, I get bored. That’s why I haven’t been posting for a while. I didn’t want to spread my sad vibes but looks like they are here to stay. Is it part of growing up? I hope not, because this is no way to live a life.

BTW, I came home from uni today while my brain was sleeping. A state in which I wasn’t thinking about anything, which has never happened to me since maybe childhood. or sleep perhaps? I don’t know how I did it all without thinking about it. In fact, I believe if you cut my head and leave me out at uni gate, my body will find its way home, along with crossing the road and how much fair to pay. It’s all hard wired in there.

Cutting head and depression, all the contents necessary for a lively post. Sorry about it. Hoping for a more positive update soon. Laters perhaps 🙂

GOT and the future of small screen vfx


Game of thrones is undisputedly the best show on TV right now and arguably of all times. Most of it is because of the brilliant writing and incredible imagination of George R.R. Martin in his books and the talented directors that have worked on it over the years, but it is also important to note that GOT has won every Emmy Award for Best vfx in a TV Show since its first season, 6 years ago. And will probably win in the next two years too. This is possible because the show creators and the vfx team are devoted fans of the Song of Ice and Fire books. Passion is a powerful thing that leads to success. They have a separate team working on the dragons. This team has been creating small scale CGI dragons since a decade before the pilot episode premiered, so there is experience too. There is probably no popular show currently running that is not using vfx. It has become a necessity but GOT has always been a step ahead. With the dragons this season, GOT has set a new high for the small screen. GRR Martin is a lucky man to have seen his imagination come to life in his lifetime.

Another reason I think CGI characters are more suited for tv is because TV is long term. The rigging, modeling and texturing of CGI characters are done first and they are 70% of the cost. Use in a scene is just animation, lighting and compositing. And that is made cheaper by cheating on compositing by setting the characters against black or bright backgrounds like open fields or clear skies. When movies like Hobbit spend so much budget on a dragon and then only use it for 3 movies at most, the digital models go to waste afterwards. TV shows can keep using the same computer puppets with comparatively less expenses for many episodes. So the cost is divided upon multiple seasons. The animation and lighting cost is already low for TV because of the smaller screen size, producing reasonable quality with lesser detail. Still this does not mean vfx are cheap. Far from it. What it does mean is that TV cgi costs much less than movies but we also have to look at TV budgets that are very small compared to movies. So it is still a huge chunk of their total budget. Not every show has a GOT like budget but with every passing year, the technology is getting cheaper and TV budgets are increasing while episodes per season are decreasing. This is a great news for the TV industry. With the popularization of Remote Rendering Platforms, graphic artists can render scenes in their laptop’s web browser. Although these services are extremely expensive now, they will be more easily accessible in a few years. The line between real and CGI has greatly blurred in the last couple of years. Now only imagination is the limit. We only need actors in a studio and all the sets can be computer generated. Maybe not even studios, since cameras like Lytro Cinema allow everything to be turned into a green screen. Soon online content creators like Youtubers will have dragon in their videos. That will be the day. (Although it will probably take another decade till we see a CGI fox in a Pakistani drama, but who give a fox about Pakistani drama.)

This power means freedom. Finally, we can explore some truly imaginative sci-fi. As fan of the sci-fi and fantasy genre, there can be no better time. For a long time, these two genres have been diluted, mixed with action movies and turned into summer blockbusters. There have been some truly great movies series like Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter or stand-alone movies like Blade Runner etc, but sci-fi concepts are more suited for TV as it is the best platform to show character study and growth. There have been a lot of blended fantasy, but no serious sci-fi shows. Stars Wars and Star Trek in truth are fantasy or Sci-fantasy at best. Dr,Who tries, sometimes, but fails. The only show that I think is truly sci-fi is Westworld (also Black Mirror). Sci-fi is often considered predictions about the future or any tv or movie show with futuristic looking stuff with glowing lights. But in its heart sci-fi is a study of humanity and the impact of technology on human behavior. Westworld gets it and I hope with development and increased availability of CGI technology, we will be seeing more original sci-fi TV shows very soon.

This does not mean I dislike fantasy. Fantasy expands people’s minds and widens their imagination. Only free minds can enjoy fantasy and we need fantasy to free the minds of our people. Seeing Malazan the Book of Fallen – possibly the most imaginative books ever written – come to life in my lifetime will be a dream come true. Even if not Malazan, we need something similar fast. Game of Thrones is ending soon and there needs to be some sci-fi and fantasy show to take its place or this will end as a onetime thing, a single victory for fantasy. Vikings is also ending soon. Star Terk Discovery is starting next year but I have low hopes for it. We need shows based on books like Dune and the Foundation series, emphasizing the human element while supported with stunning imagery. These would have been impossible to imagine being made for TV a few years ago, but now there is hope.

GOT s8 Predictions


Although the season 7 finale of Game of Thrones is still 10 days away, the second last episode is leaked along with the plot of the last episode. So, this is basically the end of this season and now it is time to make predictions about the next and final season. Here are a few things I think need to happen on the show:

  • The Hound needs to overcome his fear of fire, defeat The Mountain and later die a heroic death. There is no way he can live till the end.
  • As Bron uses his power, he is losing his human connection with the world. Meera can help his stay human rather than becoming a part of a tree.
  • Theon needs to redeem himself, maybe by killing Euron and then die.
  • Yara will be freed by Theon and represent the Iron Islands.
  • Since we need to see a mad queen, maybe Cersei will lose his shit after Jamie leaves her and she miscarries.
  • Sansa will die as confirmed by the writers. Apparently, they had a secret bet that whoever wins will write how she dies. Let’s hope it early in the season.
  • Grey Worm will die protecting Missandei. As he is taught in training since childhood that love makes you weak but he dies in her arms and say something poetic like love made me strong and blah blah. He can’t be a father and will be a terrible husband because he is a soldier and soldiers who have seen war don’t fit well in times of peace. There is no other possible end to their love story.
  • Same goes for Jorah. He needs to die serving Daenerys. It will be wrong to let Jorah live till end to keep looking at Daenerys with the googly eyes. This friendzoning needs to end. Same goes for Dario Naharis, he is also an ex-lover and loyal to her.
  • Bronn was supposed to die early in the show but was kept because the actor is very talented and fans loved him. His death will be really heart-breaking in continuation with the GOT way.
  • Samwell needs his glory moment. He had played the awkward fool for too long. But he will not die. Maybe he will become a maester after all.
  • There needs to be a flashback scene establishing Jon as son of Lyanna and Rhaegar. They have to show that he did not rape her, rather they were in love. This will establish as Jon more ‘pure-blooded’.
  • Brienne and Tormund is meant to be.
  • Gendy needs wear his helmet, ride a stallion and smack some dead heads with his hammer as a shout out to his father, Robert’s days of glory. He will live as the representative of house Baratheon and Davos too as his fatherly figure because he sees his son in him.
  • Varys and Tyrion will live till the end because the destroyed world after the walkers will need wise men like them more than ever. Also like Tyrion says himself, he is not a hero or a fighter. The theory of 3 heads of dragon died with Viserion, so he is not likely to be at the fighting end.
  • Arya needs at-least one encounter with Jaqen H’ghar because of the way she left. There won’t be anything related to her list as most of them are already dead. Cersie should better be killed by Jamie. He has killed a mad king first, he can kill a mad queen now. Plus, Arya already had her list/revenge moment with the Freys this season. Nymeria needs to return to Arya but she is not a pet anymore. She will join the fight against walkers along with her new wolf pack.

Ending: White Walkers need to win – at first at least. We need to see what was all the fuss about the long night or the winter that is coming since the first episode. A good way to do this will be to let walkers take over Westeros. Main characters can flee to Essos and the free cities. As for common folk, there are three ways to do this. First is the Marvel formula, the PG-13 way in which whole continent is magically evacuated before being destroyed. Second way is to let them all die. This sounds too much but if any show can do this, it’s GOT. Another way is to tell the people about the walkers and the fall of the wall. Those who believe will flee on ships to free cities and those who don’t will die. So, people will be choosing their own fate. This will probably be the best way to go. But what is stopping the walkers from going to the free cities? They can freeze oceans and now they have a dragon too. The show has shown them reluctant to use their freezing ability in the latest episode, Beyond the Wall as they kept watching their army of dead fall and drown due to thin ice. This reluctance may stop them from coming to islands or will at least slow them down. Taking the game to free cities will unite all our favorite characters from both sides and when the walkers do come, it will make the final battle against them in true sense a fight for humanity’s survival. In the very end, walkers will be defeated, but how? There needs to be a solution to end them once and for all but destroying the mother ship formula is already overdone and does not match the gritty realism way of storytelling in A song of Ice and Fire. However, with only 6 episodes left, the show may end up doing exactly this with Melisandre’s magic as it is the quick and easy way out. Or they can show in an end credits scene a back-up-plan-walker-baby opening his eyes in the ring of stone slabs in the far north. Thus, setting up a Legend of Korra. This is just a silly though but who knows.

Since Jon and Daenerys are already a thing, they will marry and carry on the Targaryen bloodline. In the end, it will not matter who sits on the Iron Throne. Whoever rules will be a ruler of ashes. Still it will be better if Jon becomes king and Daenerys Queen, because Jon cannot be the king in the north nor lord of Winterfell because he is not a Stark and they have established it already that he is a better leader than Daenerys. Also with Bran being the 3-eyed raven and Sansa dead, Arya will be the lady of Winterfell.

These are all predictions but with no books and little guidance from GRR Martin the show has become very predictable lately. We can only wait and see how many of these predications turn out to be true. Last season is just a year away.

Educating a casual Pakistani film goer

I have heard some of my friends saying ‘Pakistani movies are getting better, some are actually good.’ I disagree. There can’t be any move towards betterment without fixing the fundamentals. Also I don’t think if anyone who haven’t watched around 500 different movies has a scale developed enough to distinguish a good movie from a bad one. Unfortunately our casual Pakistani film goer may have a bachelors degree but is still as illiterate as an ‘angootha-chaap’ when it comes to films. Like in school, movie knowledge also comes from watching and studying movies. Lots of them. There is no short cut to this, but here are a few parameters that one need to check in a movie and are worth studying even if one has watched a lot of movies.

What needs to be in a movie? The 7 basic elements of a movie:

  1. Literary Design (Script is the heart of a movie and probably the hardest part. Without a good script everything else is pointless. It’s complicated what to call a good script but in short it should have an interesting idea, captivating story, good dialogue and dynamic character that show growth.)
  2. Visual Design (Set design, costumes, use of colors, blocking, lighting and, hair and makeup.)
  3. Sound Design (Music composition, Audio quality, Sound effects and songs)
  4. Cinematography (It is defined as the art of photography and camerawork like camera placement and shot sizes but to really understand what it means you will have to watch a few Youtube videos about the cinematography style of different directors especially David Fincher, Edgar Wright and Quentin Tarantino)
  5. Editing (Establishes tone of the movie with transition, cuts and audio-video syncing)
  6. Acting (Casting, actors’ performances and chemistry on camera and with each other)
  7. Marketing (ad campaign and trailer) may not be a direct parts of a movie but it makes a big difference in establishing the context in which a movie is perceived. Along with attracting viewers to watch the film obviously.)

Another important aspect without which a movie is not complete is the truth test. How the movie is perceived, what does it makes people feel and how true is it to the message or idea the filmmaker wants to convey. This is a test of how good all other elements of film go with each other and also marketing. An movie released without taking this aspect into account is an still an incomplete movie bound to flop. This is what you call a premature release. This step includes countless rewrites of script before shooting and limited releases for test audience during and after that may lead to some re-shoots. It’s like the experimentation and conclusion phase of the scientific method.

Here are a few of many good film-education channels that you can follow if you want to understand movies better. First of all the essentials, Lessons from the Screenplay, Every Frame a Painting, WiseCrack and Cinefix (their movie lists), then Film Courage, Ryan Hollinger is good and NerdWriter1 although he covers many other topics other than film too, then TheFilmGuy also HoustonProduction has some good videos, Cracked for the harsh truths or over criticism, CrashCourse for Film History, and finally Rocket Jump Film School if you want to know what goes behind the scenes and how it’s done. Twitter me if you know any other good movie making/film education related channels I need to be following. Laters 🙂