Olympus has fallen

There was a discussion going on between some ‘cool’ boys about , “how awesome is the movie “Olympus has fallen”. One believed that its the best movie he have seen so far (this explains what he had been watching in the past). The other one said that its the best hollywood movie yet. (he knows hollywood.. right? 😉 ). The third one took a step further and claimed it to be the best movie ever created by man. So after you hear a hot talk like this, you wonder what is the purpose of your life, when you haven’t watched a ‘great’ movie like this. So I bought a DVD (pirated) [although i m against piracy].

This was the cover photo:

At first look, one might think that olympus is the flag, as its the only thing falling here.

So the story begins with show-off of some limos and a ‘diamond ring’. Then there is a tragic accident (the tree branch fell due to taliban conspiracy). Now this is the worst part which i believe should be censored. They knew that many women and teenagers will be watching this, still they show two black limos falling down the bridge and into the frozen water. Where is humanity? I ask you. What would have a teenage-boy-auto-buff gone through during these scenes ? But the director was a heartless bastard. His next attack was on girls. Now there is a lady with a ‘diamond ring’. She is in a car which is at the edge of a bridge. Now what have they got by extending this scene other that making the women pray “plz not the ring”. Okay this have gone to far, you can show as much blood as you want and as much violence, killing as you want, but not the ring, for God’s sake not the ring. What happened later? we all know. But I will also mention that kid here. Now why is he crying, even when he knows that its just a movie and nothing real. (yes, he knows it. This explains his unnatural and weird acting).

[I haven’t added any pics here, because I don’t want the teenagers to go through those moments again]

Moving forward to the attack on white-house. There is a plane in the sky, an unauthorized war-craft which is asked to stop only when it was a few kilometers from white-house. (It proves that US Air Force is the best in the world). Now 2 fighter jets are tossed away like toys and its shown that another american fighter jet had taken off from an unknown location, but its telling that it can’t reach white-house in less than 9 mins. (again USAF is the best). Now the plane starts killing people with its machine-guns and later circles the WH.

Its so natural, it actually reminds me of a video game I used to play

Later it goes down in style

I have seen this somewhere else before. Don’t know where.

Ah. That’s a relief. Its over now.

Then there is a sympathic looking man, who looks like a korean rap artist, but is actually a garbage-man (sounds like a superhero, ”garbage-man’).  You think for a moment “ah. even the garbage-man is sad” but suddenly his eyes turn red, ears become pointed and horns grow out of his head (or maybe not) and he suddenly pulls out an ak47 out of the garbage truck. Suddenly the music turns on and men begin to dance and fall. Later the music stops and the koreans show their new step, in which everyone lies down on flour. Now machine-guns kick-in with a different music and americans begin to fall.

Everybody get on the d-floor

Meanwhile this man is shown

Don’t worry, he won’t shoot you

And I was like “OMG, what are you doing here Gladiator-guy?” Being a gladiator in a past movie, he had excessive training to handle a situation like this. All he did was, telling himself, ‘bullets are arrows’. So he goes into the WH from the front door and no one killed him. (yes, it sounds unnatural but what’s natural nowadays?)

He saves the president’s son and bla.bla.bla

Inside WH, the president and the koreans  go to the safe, where the koreans are mind controlled by aliens (or may be by writer and director) and they turn. I feel sorry for this man.

He seems like an innocent man, but he is not, because he had got his atomic enginnering degree from Pakistan. And everyone related to Pakistan is a terrorist, and that’s a hollywood rule.

He threatens to kill the President if US didn’t give him a job, a car and a house. And he also demands a negotiation commission to be set up, to bring her wife back from her parents house. And there were some other small favours he asked for, eg. bringing back the 7th fleet from korea.  And American geniouses in the commanding position did as they were told (aab kia karain bahi, bachay kee khawish ha). Stupids never thought to let the president die. (Seriously, if it were Pakistan, we would have told the terrorists to kill our president a hundred times, if they have to but we will do nothing they say).The leader of these stupids is:

‘Morgan Uncle’

This is ‘Morgan’, the uncle of hollywood. When he was a kid he wanted to be the President of US. Now when he is approached by a director

Director: “Sir, We are making a movie”

Uncle Morgan: “Then I will be the president of US”

End of story. But this time he was the acting president, because he didn’t wanted to get is suit dirty, in such a movie plot.

This is the president. His only role is to give this look, all the time

“Where is the bathroom”

In the end the gladiator-guy kills the good looking terrorist and the US is once again saved, 3 seconds before nuclear explosion, for the millionth time.

In the end there is no medal or shield or title for the gladiator. Why? because he is a gladiator. If it were Pakistan, we would have given him a dozen medals and titles. (We have big hearts, naturally. Aab har koi Pakistani toh nahi hota na)


I don’t care that it wasted my 2hrs, because time is material-less, but the loss of money is irreplaceable (or maybe its the other way around)


2 thoughts on “Olympus has fallen

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