Shareef Bachay

[WARNING: Sarcasm. Not to be taken literally.]

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What is a shareef bacha? Someone who gets goods marks. Takes care of younger siblings and cousins. Keeps voice low when talking to elders. Never uses abusive language. Don’t poondi girls. Never try to impress others, always calm and apnay kam say kam. Didn’t listen loud music. Keeps his room clean. Does homework in time. When walks in street, have eyes on the road. Who eats two roti in a single meal. Chew his food thoroughly. A mother’s angel. A father’s son. A teacher’s pet…. And etc etc wagaira, this list can go on for ages, but you get the idea. In case you are wondering where on Earth these things live, then you will be grieved to know that they are purely mystical creatures. They don’t exist because this is not the sharafat-ka-zamana.

You don’t beat your siblings or cousins and they will get an impression that you are weak and to be ruled upon. Simple rule of jungle. Forget the sound of “bahi”, you will be called by your name. Same applies for school mates. No abusive language after high school/college and you will be mostly silent while others are talking. No poondi on girls, and with time, even the girls will get the impression that either you are gay or have a negative mentality. No smoking? Smoking is the solution of almost all the problems of this world (except global warming). You didn’t get good marks/job, you smoke. You had a bad day, smoke. You bankrupt, smoke. You have a stomach disorder, smoke. It’s the solution of about 99% of your problems. *Provided that the cigarette is fill with something strong*. Good marks -> theta. Bad marks -> not a shareef bacha.

The truth is that there is really no such thing as a shareef bacha. (Except the kids of Omer Sharif or Ganga Shareefs). You will only find them in folk lore: “Once upon a time, in a place far far away, there was a shareef bacha”. The nonexistence of such type is affirmative. We can all try, but it’s pointless, so why bother. Give it a thought… No… wait; no need; the truth have already been spoken. Your brain will always tell you, “Bad habits are a part of growing up. You need to pick some of these or you will be considered a child for the rest of your days”.

*This whole thing was sarcasm. I in no way prompt you to pick bad habits. What’s wrong as a child stays wrong as an adult*

TC

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