Someone wrote a book; “The Dilemma of life”, but mine is not worth that much so I will just sum it up in just a blog post. Starting with making the fact clear that I am not one of those people who everyone loves. My mother thinks I am the most laziest person alive and that all the kids in our lane are somehow better than me. No objection.
My parents let me decide what I want to do with my life. As I grew up breaking my toys and trying to make something new out of them, (although it never worked) I thought I will make a good engineer. But actually I am just good at breaking stuff (or loosing) *specially loosing). When it comes to losing stuff, I am gifted at it. And with time I have mastered this art to perfection. Forget the long lists of past, just last semester I lost my phone (which was a gift), my jacket (only once worn) and a backup flash drive, in the same week. Not to mention 1 pen every second day as a standard loss rate. Due to this habit of mine I expect my father to tell me to leave the house every next time. I am living in this house on last chances.
Teachers’ first impression of me is of an intelligent nerd, which I am not, so I screw their expectations ‘big time’. Don’t listen to what they say and write blogs about them. Thus in a few months they hate me ‘big time’.
The neighbours on our right have a cat. It stares at me for hours (but I am too lazy to shuussh it away.) It wants to attack my face. I have white fur, green eyes and claws in my nightmares.On the opposite side live the neighbors with dogs. Their dogs have eyes on me. It’s funny that these two foes live in the same lane in harmony. What units them is their common hatred for me. Once the boy was telling me that his dog had a dream last night of chewing my leg. *Yes his dogs can actually speak to him. (or at-least I think so).
My younger brother (age 11) blackmail me to do his homework. Girls hate me. They have every reason to. Dumb luck happens with me so many times that friends think I ditch plans on purpose. In a nutshell, this world can’t handle me. Who likes a self obsessed person who is more virtually alive than really. Who watch humans by day and TV series of ‘goras’ by night.
This world is nuts. I bet you, if aliens ever come to Earth, they will take me away, because I am the only sensible person here. Plus I is not suited for a planet like this, so primitive. *We could be great but unfortunately our scientist never invented anything that might actually help people. Like something that helps us downloads the whole school curriculum into our brains. But we can only wish.
Yet after all this, I have a fast and perfectly working internet connection and in the end that’s what matters in life. Download speed is enough to keep me alive. And then people say I don’t have a life. My life is perfect. Go fix yours.
For those who don’t read my blogs and tells me to quit being awesome; on your face people. I am awesome, was awesome and will stay awesome.
Finals coming up. You may not hear (::read) from me for a month from now. Itna mai parnay wala, but I will just give the impression that I am so into parhai.
Later perhaps. Stay awesome and enjoy your summer break. *crying from inside*