How to travel the world without traveling

There was a time when looking good was only important for actors. But now if you are not pretty, its like you don’t have a right to exist. I dont like to travel? I don’t even like to go outside. As healthy as it may sound, its not that unhealthy. I can eat whatever and never get fat. Its my superpower, that is after knowing a lot about popular anime, tv series, movies and comic books and other stuff that doesn’t really matter. Also I am hardly average looking so posting pics on fb/insta is out of the picture. That makes going out a pointless effort. All this combined with me being a Pakistani makes me the best advisor on ‘How to travel without traveling (for free).’ coz you know everything is awesome if its free (or really really expensive). Anyways, moving onto the tutorial.

Step 1: Download Photoshop CS6

Make sure you use utorrent, otherwise it wont be free (::pirated). Install it, crack it, open it.

Step 2: Chose location

Google the photos of the place you want to visit. Select a picture with a person in it. Save it to desktop.

Step 3: Choose your own photo

Select a photo of yourself. It can be your FB dp as long as it has a face and its your. Mendi-fied hand dp wont work.

Step 4: Open both photos in paint.

Yes paint, coz its easier to use than photoshop. Why install photoshop you say? dont say that.

Step 5: Crop your face

Make sure its your face you are cropping. Use your camera phone’s face detection if you cant find it.

Step 6: Copy and Paste

Copy the cropped image of your face and paste it in the other photo exactly on the other person’s face.

Step 7: Send it to your phone

Just do it. It will make sense later.

Step 8: Add filters

Apply so many instagram filters that they blur your face. Play with saturation levels till the edit is barely visible.

Step 9: Upload it

Upload it to insta/snapchat/fb/twitter/whatever/wherever

Step 10: Add a caption

Don’t forget to add a quote that has repeating and rhyming words that may make no sense as caption. This is last and most important step. Google quotes of John Green. Ppl love John Green.

There you have officially started to exist. Now you can travel the world coz, ‘it only happens if you instagram it’ (even if it didnt actually happen). Here is a photo of me rolling a rollarcoaster in dubai with my GF. Dont know her name. Babe if you are reading this, I am sorry, plz dont change our relationship status.


Sorry about this post. Its sad. But so is our generation. Attention seekers everywhere. You dont have to instagram everything you eat or check in on fb where ever you go. I know ppl who are pretty and still don’t give a damn about fb/insta etc. In my head they are the definition of cool. So chill out.

Hope to write something that makes sense next time. TC


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