Twitter for Newbies

While old tweeps are leaving, there is a swarm of Facebook fed-up Pakistanis migrating to twitter. Here are some tips to use twitter without being what new users are considered on twitter.

1- Set up your account

Write a cool bio. Remember its 140chars to reflect who you are. It’s not your job CV or shadi.com ad. Make it interesting. Keep it short and simple unless you have something more interesting to say.

Your name on twitter is called handle. This should be your first name or nick name or really catchy made-up term. Never set your full name here.

Set a profile picture (avatar). Make sure its your own photo, as many accounts with famous cartoons or celebs are considered fake. Call that DSLR friend a favor and get a sexy shot. Now you can take two paths. Either change avi often and keep handle fixed or keep changing handle and fix avi. Twitter Pakistan is small and ppl know people. This way they will remember you even seeing your tweet after longer periods of time. I recommend changing avi and keeping handle fix.

Cover: Another way to express yourself. However nobody mostly cares and nothing normaly fits. Ideal size 1028×512

Location: Not necessarily where you live. Doesn’t mean you follow the pindi boy example and write ‘Isloo’ here. People can see where you are tweeting from, so get creative. eg. Out of this world, TARDIS, Ho Maan Jahan etc.

Website: Give a link to your blog or other social networking accounts or you can set it as your favstar.fm link. This way people can see your top tweets.

2- Observe

Take your time to understand twitter before you start following everyone you see, reply to every tweet you read and DM back every thanks-for-following automated messages you get.

Learn the terms. eg. DM means inbox, tweep means a person who tweets, RT eans retweet, spree means liking/RTing a lot of someone’s tweets in a short time, avi means dp and subtweet means when someone mentions your name such that you don’t get a notification and you have to just come across it on your TL or search for it.

Notice what’s in fashion. While subtweets were famous last year, now quoting tweets is the new black. Twitter remains the same but the trends change fast. Stay in fashion.

4- Follow

Follow people that inspire you. That’s what makes twitter fun. But you also have to build an audience for yourself and for that you need to follow less famous people. Follow back. Interact with other tweeps. Compliment what you like. Ignore what you hate. The first 1000 followers will be hard and you need to be patient but after that you don’t have to worry about folowers. You have a reasonable audience and from this point on no matter how many followers you get, they wont be enough. So just let your tweet quality take it from here.

5- Tweet

Tweeting comes after following coz its pointless to tweet without having an audience. Start with 20 followers for your first tweet. Twitter is very different from FB. While more than 2 posts a day on FB is considered insanity and excessive use, 2 tweets a day on twitter mean being inactive. At least 5-10 tweets a day sound good. Tweet about anything thats on your mind. Your every thought is tweetable, unless its not. If you are out of tweets, turn on a popular TV channel and start commenting about anything that moves. Be active and consistent. Tweet every day or only on weekends but be consistent about it.

Pick your thing. You need to have a thing that you love and mostly tweet about it. Edibles are popular. But stay away from biryani, kitkat, pizza or other overly used ones. Your’s need to stand out.

DON’Ts

Dont be yourself. Keep the popular opinion or keep it to yourself. Pakistanis don’t like unique opinions.

Dont tweet about what you hate. Unless this hatred is a twitter mutual. Never talk about a political party or religious sect. Twitter is battle ground of such brawls. There are paid internet wings that swarm any hateful or even intendedly funny tweets about their party. Also this will only lead your followers from other parties hating you or worse, unfollowing you.

Don’t be a phupo. If you are a phupo, don’t follow your nephews/nieces. It will only break your heart and may even lead to their murders and your imprisonment. Also make sure your own phupo is not online.

Never forget friends. These are the people who were nice to you in the start. I suggest making a private list for these people.

Thats pretty much it to this useless post. Instead of reading this, just go out there and have fun. I suggest not choosing twitter for such fun activities. Isi bahanay idar kuch post tou. Pray for my final exams next week. Later perhaps. TC

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