Am I changing? (Mentally, not bodily)

Its been more than a month since I have been trying to watch ‘Your Name’ but i just can’t. Every time I start, I lose interest minutes later. Same situation with Attack on Titan s2. Its been ages as it sits there in the folder, neither seen nor deleted. But yesterday I watched Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy and its strangely paced/structured yet I liked it, watching it all in one sitting. I think i have lost interest in anime, which is a good thing in a way as I already have too much pop culture on my plate, but it could be a trigger that i am changing. Am I? I don’t know. I feel different. I used to be stupid but happy. Now the best feeling I know is when my head is numb due to sleep deprecation of watching YouTube too much. Why am I sad all the time and for no reason I can think of? It’s a never ending feeling that I have to do something creative like writing a book or making a video or vector art but soon as I start, I get bored. That’s why I haven’t been posting for a while. I didn’t want to spread my sad vibes but looks like they are here to stay. Is it part of growing up? I hope not, because this is no way to live a life.

BTW, I came home from uni today while my brain was sleeping. A state in which I wasn’t thinking about anything, which has never happened to me since maybe childhood. or sleep perhaps? I don’t know how I did it all without thinking about it. In fact, I believe if you cut my head and leave me out at uni gate, my body will find its way home, along with crossing the road and how much fair to pay. It’s all hard wired in there.

Cutting head and depression, all the contents necessary for a lively post. Sorry about it. Hoping for a more positive update soon. Laters perhaps šŸ™‚


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