The Summer of Kulfi

It’s summer and daily kulfi is a must but have you noticed how these kulfi wallay have strategically placed their stands and carts to exploit our weakness for kulfi for more sales. I mean the time you finish one, which leaves you wanting for more, there is another cart right in front of you. What amazes me is how even if you are walking or driving, they know where your kulfi will finish? This must have been possibly only after extensive research involving the melting speed of a kulfi in summers and the average walking and driving distance one can cover in that time. This research presumably is the basic of rairi-wali-kulfi taking over. They may have beaten others in accessibility but nothing beats the taste of original Yummy’s Shahi Kulfi that used to come in smaller white wooden boxed-shaped icecream carts. That was the original kulfi that we all have grown to love and we had so many over the years that it is kinda part of our DNA now. After school, a summer day was incomplete without that shahi kulfi. It triggers all the right taste buds in your mouth and who can blame it, its shahi kulfi, it has to be good. Have it been awami kulfi we would have let it slide. Anyway a month ago a shop opened not far from our place and they have all the best and widest variety of kulfis and yes that includes the glorious shahi kulfi. Heck it is right at the spot van drops me on the way home from uni. So basically there is no fighting it, they have found my kryptonite. It wouldn’t surprise me if this summer turns into the summer of kulfi for me, like lassi last year, and to that I say bring it on. Laters 🙂

Double Standards

They expect us to follow in our assignments every schematic detail they can. Font size 11, double spacing, Times New Roman, titles bold, pages marked, margins drawn, word count and everything they can come up with, while year after year they teach from the same ppt slides, never caring to even align some text, let alone make them aesthetically appealing or other things like following a built-in theme for once and sticking with it for at least a few slides. Its like each slide is its own abstract art of different colored boxes and text/equations floating around in free space. Four years. Four years I have been in this God forsaken place and not one teacher has ever presented from a properly arranged slide. I can’t study from these without going thought emotional torment. So I align them before I start and it only takes a few minutes. Will it kill them to do it on their own? For the future of mankind I can give them my edited versions but the question is how to do it without saying, ‘your presentations suck. Here take mine instead.’ This is hopeless. Laters 🙂

Spring Collections

There must be an issue with the multiverse. Mahira Khan was not supposed to be considered a good actor by any standards of the infinite universes. Yet here she is pretending to be a super star, popping up in every pointless TVC ever. “Kapray humaray liay kia kuch kartay hain, hum inn k liay kia kartay hain?” Kill me if this isn’t lame. All she can do is make a cry face without actually crying, that she’s been doing since Humsafar. If this is good acting then Pakistani dramas are overflowing with it. Anyway taking today about these kapray that do so much for us. On my way uni I’ve been counting billboards for a couple of days (because I am cool like that) and here’s the ad situation from Saddar to Defense Gate 3.

Amazon Mall-5, GulAhmed-4, Firdous-4, Khaadi-4, Ethnic (Outfitters)-4, Nishat-4, J.-3, AlKaram-3, Stylo Shoes-3, Sana Safinaz-2, Bonanza-2, Zara’s (Ittehad) -1, Maria.B-1, Servis-1

I may have missed a few but notice a pattern here. The clothing brands have taken over the billboard game with their spring collections. Every brands wants more eyes on their ad while trying to balance the count with their competitors if not top it. I have not seen a billboard war so fierce since the Paint ad wars of 2014. Allah save Pindi. First the schools and beauty parlors, and now boutiques are opening in every corner. (No rhyme intended) If monsoon does not flood this city first, these ads will. Or may be I am over reacting.

BTW what’s with this new brand, Muzlim? More like Mulzim…get it? Sigh. God I am funny. Tears. Laters 🙂

Saturdays I tell you

Today’s Saturday was a working day and I already hate Sundays so basically weekend ruined. Only thing vaguely interesting that happened today was this. We were making assignment in class when a friend asked: humm 3:30. kya time hai tumaray pas?
Me: aah. (take out phone) 3:30 hee hai
X: nai, I mean time hai tumaray pas?
Me: gharee? Nai
X: Nai, time. Time hai tumaray pas?
Me: kia? keh jo raha hu nai hai
X: farig time. Fee ho?
Me: abi tak tou free tha
So this is why kids they tell you not to go school on a Saturday. Later 🙂

Sarcastic Irony

I never realize how sarcastic I am till I meet some friend of a friend. Normally if I met someone new I will be okay but being with your friends and a new people come along. My whole so called ‘appeal’ for lack of a better word, revolves around being sarcastic without offending anyone. By sarcasm here I mean just saying something ironically while meaning the opposite, no contempt. When people get me literally it makes them think I am a horrible human being and I cannot live with that. I can pretend that I do not care what people think of me but I do care inside. I crave approval and need to be liked by everyone. However it’s even worse when I cannot tell if the other person was being sarcastic. Was it a compliment or a mockery? Maybe I ask this because I do not think of me as a compliment worthy person. Is this what’s my opinion of me? Also what’s with the people who do not understand sarcasm under any circumstances. Is sense of sarcasm a thing which they lack? Is this a medical condition? Perhaps later. TC 🙂

Almost Summer

It’s already the 2nd week of March yet the winter shows no signs of leaving any time soon. It’s sunny by day but also chilly after it rained yesterday. This morning I decided to ditch the jersey and start the summer on my own. I have this feeling that if people stop wearing jerseys and start having ruhafza, this will be a much need confidence boost for the shy summer of 2017. I haven’t gone far from home when I realize, as much as I like summer to just start already I would also like not to die of pneumonia. So I went back and took the hoodie. My trusty hoodie of this fall. I always think of wearing something else next day but it has become part of my skin now. This is my clothes cycle. Wear them till they lose color washing or burn to ash or something else to a similar effect. Each semester I have a look that stick with me throughout and also songs, which I later start to hate for bringing back bad memories after a bad semester. When a good day gets ruined because someone played a song I used to listen in 2nd semester. Plan is to not listen to any music but my mind will find a way to keep me busy being depressed over past. Praying for a happy summer. Later 🙂

Pakistan, Pre-PSL Final

This might be the last post I am writing before the PSL-2 final and we all know everything will change after that so here is to new beginnings and a new country filled with peace, prosperity and justice.

PSL-2 Final will be in Lahore this week, 5.3.17. Since PSL-2 started in UAE and the Lahore final was announced, we had 3 major bombs in the country. 2 in Karachi and one in Lahore. Death toll in around 20-30 with more than 50 injured. PSL officials responded by wearing black bands to say ‘you can’t force us to stay away from playing in Pakistan’, except it blew up in our faces when this only gave the bombings more media coverage worldwide. Thus establishing on solid ground how unsafe Pakistan is. In all the teams combined, only 8 foreign players are willing (for now) to come to Pakistan. Only Quetta has qualified for the final yet and none of their foreign players are coming.

So what is our plan to deal with the situation? The plan is to have an ‘unprecedented’ security plan that was just announced today. Lahore in one mile radius around the Gaddaffi stadium will remain under curfew for the whole day. Electricity and gas will be cut off in the area during match timings. Phone service will remain blocked. Full lock-down of markets, offices and schools etc. Roads will be kept clear for the day. Army will provide security to the players’ buses from airport to hotel to stadium and back.

Flawless. This already makes me all warm and cozy on the inside. I don’t know what impression we want to give to the world but it is definitely not, ‘Pakistan is a safe country. Come play with us.’ Not like this. They are treating it as it will be the turning point for Pakistan cricket and I hope it does but Zimbabwe already played a whole series here and that did not open any doors of international cricket to us, so what will one league match prove? Anyway, fingers crossed for a safe day and hoping for the best for Pakistan.

*Won’t be watching the match though. I have other things far more important to do. Like watch a movie or something. Don’t get me wrong, I loved cricket once with all my heart but it was not kind to me. This sickening one-sided relationship with team Pakistan had to be cut off and thrown away for me to live, so I did. Besides I haven’t watched a single PSL-2 match so why this one? Happy for the cricket lovers. Later 🙂