Spring Collections

There must be an issue with the multiverse. Mahira Khan was not supposed to be considered a good actor by any standards of the infinite universes. Yet here she is pretending to be a super star, popping up in every pointless TVC ever. “Kapray humaray liay kia kuch kartay hain, hum inn k liay kia kartay hain?” Kill me if this isn’t lame. All she can do is make a cry face without actually crying, that she’s been doing since Humsafar. If this is good acting then Pakistani dramas are overflowing with it. Anyway taking today about these kapray that do so much for us. On my way uni I’ve been counting billboards for a couple of days (because I am cool like that) and here’s the ad situation from Saddar to Defense Gate 3.

Amazon Mall-5, GulAhmed-4, Firdous-4, Khaadi-4, Ethnic (Outfitters)-4, Nishat-4, J.-3, AlKaram-3, Stylo Shoes-3, Sana Safinaz-2, Bonanza-2, Zara’s (Ittehad) -1, Maria.B-1, Servis-1

I may have missed a few but notice a pattern here. The clothing brands have taken over the billboard game with their spring collections. Every brands wants more eyes on their ad while trying to balance the count with their competitors if not top it. I have not seen a billboard war so fierce since the Paint ad wars of 2014. Allah save Pindi. First the schools and beauty parlors, and now boutiques are opening in every corner. (No rhyme intended) If monsoon does not flood this city first, these ads will. Or may be I am over reacting.

BTW what’s with this new brand, Muzlim? More like Mulzim…get it? Sigh. God I am funny. Tears. Laters 🙂

Saturdays I tell you

Today’s Saturday was a working day and I already hate Sundays so basically weekend ruined. Only thing vaguely interesting that happened today was this. We were making assignment in class when a friend asked: humm 3:30. kya time hai tumaray pas?
Me: aah. (take out phone) 3:30 hee hai
X: nai, I mean time hai tumaray pas?
Me: gharee? Nai
X: Nai, time. Time hai tumaray pas?
Me: kia? keh jo raha hu nai hai
X: farig time. Fee ho?
Me: abi tak tou free tha
So this is why kids they tell you not to go school on a Saturday. Later 🙂

Sarcastic Irony

I never realize how sarcastic I am till I meet some friend of a friend. Normally if I met someone new I will be okay but being with your friends and a new people come along. My whole so called ‘appeal’ for lack of a better word, revolves around being sarcastic without offending anyone. By sarcasm here I mean just saying something ironically while meaning the opposite, no contempt. When people get me literally it makes them think I am a horrible human being and I cannot live with that. I can pretend that I do not care what people think of me but I do care inside. I crave approval and need to be liked by everyone. However it’s even worse when I cannot tell if the other person was being sarcastic. Was it a compliment or a mockery? Maybe I ask this because I do not think of me as a compliment worthy person. Is this what’s my opinion of me? Also what’s with the people who do not understand sarcasm under any circumstances. Is sense of sarcasm a thing which they lack? Is this a medical condition? Perhaps later. TC 🙂

Almost Summer

It’s already the 2nd week of March yet the winter shows no signs of leaving any time soon. It’s sunny by day but also chilly after it rained yesterday. This morning I decided to ditch the jersey and start the summer on my own. I have this feeling that if people stop wearing jerseys and start having ruhafza, this will be a much need confidence boost for the shy summer of 2017. I haven’t gone far from home when I realize, as much as I like summer to just start already I would also like not to die of pneumonia. So I went back and took the hoodie. My trusty hoodie of this fall. I always think of wearing something else next day but it has become part of my skin now. This is my clothes cycle. Wear them till they lose color washing or burn to ash or something else to a similar effect. Each semester I have a look that stick with me throughout and also songs, which I later start to hate for bringing back bad memories after a bad semester. When a good day gets ruined because someone played a song I used to listen in 2nd semester. Plan is to not listen to any music but my mind will find a way to keep me busy being depressed over past. Praying for a happy summer. Later 🙂

Pakistan, Pre-PSL Final

This might be the last post I am writing before the PSL-2 final and we all know everything will change after that so here is to new beginnings and a new country filled with peace, prosperity and justice.

PSL-2 Final will be in Lahore this week, 5.3.17. Since PSL-2 started in UAE and the Lahore final was announced, we had 3 major bombs in the country. 2 in Karachi and one in Lahore. Death toll in around 20-30 with more than 50 injured. PSL officials responded by wearing black bands to say ‘you can’t force us to stay away from playing in Pakistan’, except it blew up in our faces when this only gave the bombings more media coverage worldwide. Thus establishing on solid ground how unsafe Pakistan is. In all the teams combined, only 8 foreign players are willing (for now) to come to Pakistan. Only Quetta has qualified for the final yet and none of their foreign players are coming.

So what is our plan to deal with the situation? The plan is to have an ‘unprecedented’ security plan that was just announced today. Lahore in one mile radius around the Gaddaffi stadium will remain under curfew for the whole day. Electricity and gas will be cut off in the area during match timings. Phone service will remain blocked. Full lock-down of markets, offices and schools etc. Roads will be kept clear for the day. Army will provide security to the players’ buses from airport to hotel to stadium and back.

Flawless. This already makes me all warm and cozy on the inside. I don’t know what impression we want to give to the world but it is definitely not, ‘Pakistan is a safe country. Come play with us.’ Not like this. They are treating it as it will be the turning point for Pakistan cricket and I hope it does but Zimbabwe already played a whole series here and that did not open any doors of international cricket to us, so what will one league match prove? Anyway, fingers crossed for a safe day and hoping for the best for Pakistan.

*Won’t be watching the match though. I have other things far more important to do. Like watch a movie or something. Don’t get me wrong, I loved cricket once with all my heart but it was not kind to me. This sickening one-sided relationship with team Pakistan had to be cut off and thrown away for me to live, so I did. Besides I haven’t watched a single PSL-2 match so why this one? Happy for the cricket lovers. Later 🙂

Slow Movies

When someone says, this movie is slow, they actually mean that the movie’s first act does not promise any big pay off to come in the third and final act. We see that all the old classics and majority of the Oscar nominees even today have this thing in common. The problem with telling your audience to expect something big is that it raises their expectations. Sometimes the movie cannot deliver on these expectations simply because the audience has expected too much. All good movies from 12 Angry Men to 2001: A Space Odyssey to shows like Breaking Bad being labeled as ‘slow’ means the audience does not know where they are going and our mind questions if there will be a payoff. When it finally does, in the final act, it just wows our mind and the movies are considered amazing. This slow pace can also be used to trick someone into thinking a normal movie is better than it really it. These movies are Oscar bait, take Hell or High Water for example. It is a good movie but Oscar nomination? Also Drive. There is someone comparing Drive to The Taxi Driver. It too is a good movie but tTD is considered a classic and to say a movie is better than a classic needs that to be seriously jaw dropping good. But this is just a surface observation. The challenge of a slow movie is to make it engaging and grab people’s attention and feelings or the pay off won’t hit as hard. This is actually the hardest part and challenging for the ‘slow movies’ as they do not have the fast paced action of the summer blockbusters. This is where the brilliance of the director shines. Not anyone can pick a camera, make a movie with nothing interesting except one thing in the end, can trick into be considered a good move. The audience can just feel it. This is what sets apart Drive and Hell or High Water because they are done right. Anyway, the point is that most viewers are not cine-literate and slow paced movie have better chances of being considered good or become a classic than a fast pace one. Action movies in particular struggle with the third act and fight hard to keep the momentum till the end. Winter Soldier is a good one but it is not slow and thus not a classic. A better example would be No Country for Old Men, or Heat that finds the balance between slow pace and action. One just needs to be smart and not confuse an actual slow movie with good nor blame a good movie for being slow.

Film Finance Corporation of Pakistan

Once upon a time in a country far far away some young people got sick of the conventional form of similar stories being told again and again on television and film. but they were not artists or media people. They had no experience of such but they had a vision. So a few of them came together to make sci-fi and fantasy shows for a change and for that they talked to different up and coming writers and directors who were also passionate about these kind of projects. They tried different ways to get funding for their shows but no one in the industry was willing to take risk. So they started going to schools and colleges and since sites like Kickstarter were not a thing back then, they had to tour the whole country to raise some money. No luck. They did not give up though, they decided to expand the search and went to America and Europe. Finally they raised enough money for their ‘infotainment project’ to make sci-fi and educational shows for kids. At this time the country’s government stepped in and decided to make it official as a government funded organization. This agency was named FFC-Film Finance Corporation of Australia and it created shows like Round the Twist, Spellbinder and Mirror Mirror, that were aired internationally without any strings attached. Ptv was one of the channels that aired these and we grew up watching these shows. In fact our whole generation watched it in many countries around the world including India, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, Australia, New Zealand, UK and Ireland. I owe my childhood creativity to these people who took a stand and tried to do something different. And also to channel three, the only channel with good kids shows other wise Ptv’s idea of kids’ show was kidnapping or child labor dramas and gaming or quiz shows which were educational but not fun to watch. Still at least the old Ptv tried. Who cares about making a kids’ show anymore. Continue reading “Film Finance Corporation of Pakistan”